Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
