Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
