Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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