Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
