i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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