THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
