I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
