A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
