I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
