some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
