On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
