Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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