Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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