Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
