There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
