oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my being single is dangerous.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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