I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
