Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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