Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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