On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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