Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
