I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
