i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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