like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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