why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize