fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
