And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
