He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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