Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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