You really coming over, don't trick.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
