If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize