How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
