Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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