If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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