I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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