youre lurking in front of me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
