I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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