I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
