we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
