Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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