I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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