i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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