I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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