Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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