I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I am naked and annoyed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize