we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
