Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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