They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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