yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
