That's intense
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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