took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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