I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
