Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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