JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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