I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
