i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
