he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
