after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
