Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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