38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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