so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
