just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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