Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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