im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
