if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
